Lord, Thank you for reminding me of my need for you.

Today I was relaxing at Starbucks while sipping on a frappachino. I had my notebook with me and I began to write down all of these things I have been trying to do recently.... Read the bible daily, get to know my wife more, learning about Quickbooks and accounting, understanding how filing federal taxes works, attempting to learn about designing websites, thinking about turning our home into a vacation home, learning to read the bible in Greek, studying for a systematic theology class, working out and running, checking my fantasy baseball team, going to homegroup, couples bible study and one other bible study, analyzing my finances, eating healthier, praying more, working with the Navigators ministry team, desiring to be on vacation, looking forward to retiring, thinking about encouraging others more, reading more christian books, upgrading the condo, thinking about how to make it through seminary, thinking about how the Marine Corps needs christian insiders to share Christ with them, hoping to have children, desiring to learn how to be a communications leader for FEMA in case of local disasters, figuring everything out on my own, serving on the hospitality ministry at church....the list can go on and on. I want so much to be in control of my life. Being in control means I have a say on what goes on and gives me a sense of power and authority. I have attempted to solve every possible problem I have. I have constantly pushed and tried to be everything for everyone. I have been trying to be my own god. All of these things that I do and think about everyday do nothing. All of these things and thoughts are taking my worship away from God; I am stealing His glory for myself. I am not trusting Him with everything all the time. I have said in my heart that I will try to be my own god and as a result I have lost all joy. I have lost my joy because i have put my hope in something that is not able to provide; that something is myself. SURE....I did think that I was joyful when I was hoping in myself and everything was going right, but God has changed all that and now my joy in myself is being realized as a false sense of joy.

"Lord I pray that you would help me to trust you for everything. Help me to not put my trust in anyone or anything. Allow me to draw close to you so that I may experience TRUE joy. Keep me from thinking and acting as if I am in control. Lord, remind me of your Son's sacrifice for me and that I need nothing else. Remind me that every attempt I make at being in control is me denying you and your gift of Christ. Make my priorities to glorify you through communicating with you, communicating you to others, loving my wife and any children you might bless us with and loving my church which you ultimately sacrificed for. Lord, I am nothing but a man, please take over my life."

Jose